Living in choice during challenging times like the death of a parent, at least for me, called for a more focused effort to stay present to each moment. I found myself wanting to run away, avoid, resist, be angry, get caught up in something other than the moment. When I noticed I was not living in choice, I reminded myself to breathe through my heart while I thought about the beauty of life as I was taught in HeartMath, causing a return to coherence in my heart rhythm. As my heart rate slowed and balanced, I found I could be present to my Mothers labored breathing as she fought to hold on to life.
In her last 6 months of life, following a stroke that paralyzed her ability to eat, walk, speak plainly, engage in activities, I was amazed at her ability to be pleasant to her caretakers, appreciating their efforts to make her comfortable. They loved her and she loved them back. She asked little of my sister and I, but was always happy to see us and always said "I love you."
She chose to live in choice at every breath - even to not take the next one.
She was a great teacher and role model and I will miss her physical presence, but I know she was ready for what comes next.
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